Polar Bears Vs Penguins?

21st April 2011

Polar protagonists the pair of them, but which really comes out on top? Can there be accord? Can they be friends? Here is an irreverent look at the two major players. However, not until you have gazed at them from close range can you subscribe to the inner Arctic and Antarctic circle.

Polar Bear ¦ Penguins

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Polar Bear

Pros

• Who’s the Daddy? Lions, cheetahs, leopards or tigers? Forget it - these are 700kg of ivory clad muscle. Nuff said!

• Air and Water - They can jump and swim. Hollow fur and webbed feet puts a polar bear 25 metres ahead of Michael Phelps over a 100 metre Olympic pool.

• Proper Grub - None of this fastidious picky nonsense espoused by metrosexual cheetahs. Red-blooded bears eat anything, and they love lard, especially seal lard - real predators at the top of the food chain.

• Bear Bragging Rights – Sightings of these mighty Arctic wanderers are limited to the intrepid few - kudos aplenty.

Cons

• 'The Hell I Will' - After eating they walk like John Wayne, stretching their back legs out round their swollen stomachs. Now, that’s no way for an apex predator to behave!

• Bone Idle – They may be big but they sleep for five months of the year.

• Ivoryeal Problem Finding Them – An ivory blob is incredibly difficult to spot against a ice-laden backdrop.

Penguins

Pros

• Box Office - Which birds get both documentary and animated blockbusters made about them? Penguins do!

• Numbers Game - There are King Penguin rookeries in South Georgia that have approaching half a million birds. You cannot argue with the stats.

• Variety - King-sized Kings, eternal Emperors, rowdy Rockhoppers, adorable Adelies, gregarious Gentoos, marvellous Macaronis, cheeky Chinstraps - everyone has a favourite.

• Hot Chicks - The young fledglings, especially Emperors and Adelies, are irresistibly endearing.

Cons

• Asbos – Penguins are real bullies screaming and shrieking with no consideration for their stunning backyards or their neighbours!

• Mucky Bird – Penguins are nowhere near being toilet trained!

• I’d Give it Ten Minutes - Those big penguin rookeries really test the nerve of your nasal passages!

Polar Bears Vs Penguins - Which do you think is best?

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