After Losing My Husband, Small-Group Adventure Changed My Life… Here’s How
Travel has become a massive part of my grief journey. It’s really helped me to have something exciting to look forward to and to plan for.
Before my husband, Richard, died, we’d travelled together for years, organising our own holidays. But when I decided it was time to travel again, I wanted to go somewhere completely different.
Richard wouldn’t have wanted to visit India. He didn’t like crowds or hot weather, and I didn’t want to find myself somewhere thinking, Richard would have loved this. Going somewhere he wouldn’t have chosen worked for me.
I’d also taught India as a topic when I was a primary school teacher, so I’d always had it in the back of my mind that I’d visit one day.
Why I chose a solo small-group adventure
I’d never been on a guided group holiday before. I had travelled on my own to Washington, DC, to meet women from an online widows’ support group, but India felt different. I didn’t want to go somewhere like that entirely on my own.
I wasn’t looking for a specific solo travellers’ group. I just wanted a company with a really good itinerary and really good reviews. Exodus kept coming up when I searched for group trips to India. And I liked the fact that it was an adventure travel company. I didn’t just want to go on a standard, all-inclusive type thing. I wanted to be moving around and seeing stuff. I wanted adventure.
The reviews were reassuring too. People were talking about their 14th, 15th or 16th Exodus trips, and I thought, well, they must be doing something right!
Before booking, I phoned to ask who else was travelling. I wanted to know whether I’d be surrounded by couples, and the team was really helpful. They talked me through the group, including who was travelling solo and who was coming with a friend.
It turned out that everyone on that first trip was a woman, which was perfect for me at the time.
Adventure, with someone else taking care of the details
I’d always been an independent trip planner, but grief brings a lot of brain fog. I just wanted someone else to take care of it all for me.
I booked India quite a long way in advance, and that gave me something to plan for. I was reading about the country, watching Joanna Lumley’s travels through India on television and getting excited about what was ahead.
“Grief brings a lot of brain fog. I just wanted someone else to take care of it all for me ”
There were a few nerves before I left, of course. Had I done the right thing? What would the group be like? But as soon as I got there and saw the person holding the Exodus sign at the airport, I was so reassured.
After the first couple of days, I knew I’d do more of these trips. Everything was really well organised, and I loved the fact that it felt like I was doing adventurous stuff, but it also felt safe.
The itineraries are great because someone who knows the destination has already put together all the things you want to see. You don’t have to worry about missing something important.
And being part of a group doesn’t mean giving up your independence. You can have all the good bits about the group, but then you can just sort of wander off and have time on your own if you want to.
That’s one of the things I really enjoy about travelling with Exodus.
Everyone has a story
Within a couple of days on a trip, everyone starts opening up. Everyone has a story, whether it’s grief, divorce or something else life has thrown at them.
Those group dinners can be really therapeutic when you start talking to people.
“Within a couple of days on a trip, everyone starts opening up. Everyone has a story ”
One moment I’ll never forget was in Varanasi, during a Hindu ceremony on the Ganges. We were on a boat, putting candles into the water, and I released one for Richard. By then, the women on the trip knew my story. They could tell I was having a moment, and they left me at one end of the boat to have some space. That was a big, big moment for me.
It’s lovely to share experiences with people who understand what you’ve been through, but also to spend time talking about other things. On Exodus trips, there’s always someone telling you about another place they’ve visited or an adventure they’ve had.
It’s infectious. Even if you haven’t got the travel bug when you arrive, you’ll probably have it by the time you leave!
The friendships don’t end when the trip does
The groups really bond. I’m still in a WhatsApp group for every Exodus trip I’ve done, and we’ve had at least one reunion meal after every trip. The India group, from 2023, still meets up in London. After the Inca Trail, we met at a Peruvian restaurant. And I’ve met up with the Jordan group several times.
That’s one of the things I really value about travelling in a small group. You’ve all experienced the same things, so when you get together afterwards, you can reminisce.
I miss being able to do that with Richard. We travelled together for so many years, and it’s something you don’t necessarily think about until it’s gone.
With the Exodus groups, there’s always someone who remembers that same moment, that same place or something funny that happened along the way.
Guides who love their countries
The guides have been amazing on every trip. They’re all proud of their countries, and they want to show you.
I’ll always remember Naveen, my guide in India. He was just so nice and friendly and cuddly and just a great guide. Maybe he stands out because India was my first Exodus trip, but he was wonderful.
The guide on my Inca Trail trip was fantastic too. I went with my sister-in-law, who’d been inspired by my travels and wanted an adventure of her own.
I said to her, ‘Right, here’s the Exodus brochure. Where do you fancy going? And we’ll go together.’ We ended up doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, and now she’s got the Exodus bug too. We’ve already decided that for our 60th birthdays, we’re going to do the Great Wall of China trip together.
Birthday presents from me to me
My first two Exodus trips, to India and Jordan, were deliberately planned around my birthday. Birthdays without Richard were going to be a bit weird, so I thought, right, I want to be away on my birthday doing something amazing. They were birthday presents from me to me, really.
Exodus was thoughtful about it too. There were birthday cakes, which made those trips even more special.
Jordan was another incredible experience. I’d always loved Indiana Jones films, and the scenery around Petra had stayed in my mind since I was young.
There were only five of us on that trip, partly because of the situation in the Middle East at the time. I remember standing in front of Petra with hardly anyone else there. Our guide showed us photographs of what it normally looked like. It was quite something. I also met my partner, Steve, on that trip. But I wasn’t looking to meet anyone. I was quite happy on my own, and I still enjoy travelling solo.
Five trips later, there’s still plenty to see
It’s been life changing for me. I’ve now been on five Exodus adventures, including trips to India, Jordan, Peru, Cappadocia, Vietnam and Cambodia.
And there’s still plenty on my list.
I’ve always loved archaeology and Indiana Jones, so I can’t quite believe I’ve never been to Egypt. Steve and I are looking at Exodus itineraries for February 2027. It’s nice to be in a couple now, but I also like to keep up with solo trips.
South Africa is another place I’d love to visit. And, of course, there’s that Great Wall of China trip with my sister-in-law to look forward to.
If you’re thinking about travelling on your own but feeling nervous, my advice would be to use the Exodus team. Phone them and ask questions. Read the reviews. Talk to other travellers. There’s so much reassurance available before you even leave home.
Travelling has been a real life changing and therapeutic thing for me. It’s helped me experience new cultures, see new things and meet new people.
And it feels, in a way, like I’m honouring Richard. He died young, so I feel like it’s up to me to go out and explore and experience and make the most of life.”
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